for tonight

i find myself inside of my head more than i am outside of my apartment. last week I was at camp, this week I am adjusting to home life and hopefully securing a job. today as I teetered around the place looking for shit to clean, a moment of deep, lucid, clarity came over me. I laid on my bed, gazing at the dramatic black and white photos of Maya Angelou, Martin Luther King Jr, and Ray Charles. I laid, basking in the beauty of life.

in its uncertainty.

in its kindness.

its wisdom.

its honesty.

and its heart.

life truly does bring you exactly what you need.

A push when you are complacent. A friend when you are lonely. A kind word when you are self-doubting.

One of the best things life has brought me is my family. Always supportive, always loving, always there.

The same sentiments ring true for my partner. Kyle is the sweetest, most caring, generous and down to earth man I know. He has this calmness, this still peace about him that balances my impatient and temperamental ways. It’s a rarity, and its love.

Tonight I am grateful for it all. For the days I worked two jobs while juggling school and a nonprofit, which strengthened my work ethic. For the carless days I would take the light rail to the grocery store and walk home, arms bowing with bags of food. The times I supportive other people when they couldn’t support themselves. Tonight I am grateful. For the nice car I drive, for parents who support me, for the man who provides everything and more. For my education, my privilege, my health, my abundance.

“What I prayed for is humility—to know that there’s something greater than I.”

—Maya Angelou
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