silver linings

Watched the Silver Linings Playbook (again) last night. While it’s not my favorite movie, I really love and appreciate the rawness of the characters. They are so vulnerable and unashamed, it’s a beautiful and humorous thing. One of my favorite parts of the movie is when Bradley Cooper says,

“You have to do everything you can. You have to work your hardest. If you stay positive, you have a shot at a silver lining.”

I also reactivated my Facebook account to connect over the loss of an old student of mine. tragedy has a way of uniting the most distant of acquaintances. I already want to delete the account because social media gives a microphone to the most ignorant of voices. A good friend of mine once told me, “the most dangerous thing is a well determined idiot” and I think that’s very insightful, I would also add that there is danger in well organized and continuously engaged idiots. Anyways, I stumbled upon people from the past, people I used to know, and people I wish I didn’t know. Some of whom are doing well for themselves, others haven’t moved. I came across a friend of a friend who had a baby with a boyfriend that she left her husband to be with…its confusing I know. Anyway, I was surprisingly shocked when I saw that the new boyfriend didn’t last and they are now parenting separately. I guess it shouldn’t be that shocking coming from someone who left a marriage to pursue lust. More than anything it just made me sad. Facebook makes me sad. I guess it’s not even Facebook, it’s just people and the lost sacredness. Scripture says, “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.” I wont bore you with varying theological explanations of this verse, but what’s important to me is that there are relationships and traditions in life that are set aside as sacred, as intentionally connected to God. I think marriage is one of those things. This isn’t a conversation about Prop 8 because I don’t think the gender of your partner is relevant. What is relevant is the commitment that you are both making when you decide to get married. The older I get the more marriage means to me. I’m surrounded by families that are crippled by divorce, disillusioned by wealth, and paralyzed by selfish desires. And I think one of the biggest reasons people get divorced is because the stop trying. or they were fooled really good. The human soul is infinitely deep. there so much to know, to explore, to experience with your partner. Even after 30 years of marriage, my dad doesn’t look at my mom and say, “thats it, I know all there is to know about you, on to the next one”. He keeps going. She keeps going. Because that’s what marriage is about. About being in it for the long haul. To me, that is sacred. And yeah, you have to work hard, and you have to do everything you can and stay positive, but if you do, the reward is priceless. That’s the silver lining; when in spite of all the chaos and tragedy, you have that person that is there for you through it all. No fear of abandonment, no fear of rejection or judgement. Just that one person that says yes. Yes I’m on your side.

 

life will not let you fail

“So you must not be frightened when a sorrow rises up before you,greater than you have ever seen before; when a restlessness like light and cloud shadows passes over your hands and over all your doing. You must think that something is happening upon you, that life has not forgotten you, that it holds you in it’s hand; it will not let you fall.”

Rilke