Today I went to yoga for the first time in a year.
There’s this list of habits and traits that I desire, that I frequently find myself asking “what would my life be like if I actually did all these things that I say I want to do?” Things like juice everyday, start my mornings off in prayer or meditation to set my intention for the day, exercise daily, be more encouraging to others and kind to myself, smile more, frown less, drink more water…etc.
Something came over me yesterday. I googled yoga salons in Oakland and found myself there on my sea green mat at noon. It felt so good to get back in touch with my body and mind, with how connected they really are. Sitting on my mat, legs folded over each other, eyes closed, I listened to the rhythm of my breath and thought, when is the last time I have tuned out everything else in my life and listened to my breath? stopped thinking about my never ending to-do list and just noticed
the rise and fall of my chest.
Awareness of the world is one thing, I’ve got that down pretty well.
Awareness of yourself is another world.
I often find myself regretting dumb shit I said or wishing I had expressed more gratitude or compassion. I’m starting to realize that changes like this, like awareness and mindfulness in the moment, will only manifest if I make a habit out of it. Make a lifestyle change of being present with whom and where I am.
I’m not there yet. But I’m trying.