left to my own devices
i am vengeful, weak and judgemental
i seek to control situations and get angry when my efforts are defeated
today i had all sorts of vindictive thoughts running through my head
all the crafty, twisted little ways i could slice someone, tell them about themself
i really had myself going, all sorts of blueprints drafted in detestation
then i heard the word
that justice is the lords
and i had a reality check. a humility check.
that no matter how fucked up other people are, how angry i get, how unjustly i am treated,
vengeance is the lords.
justice is the lords.
i am the not the lord. it is not my place to reprimand, to correct errors, to point out flaws
the only reason we should acknowledge the flaws in others is only to deepen our hatred of what is ugly within us. In turn, deepening our wonder of a God who forgives so much.
how quickly i forget. how foolish i am on my own.
so i took all that crippling animosity and turned it into a prayer.
that i would be wise about the ways i pursue justice.
that God would throw my anger into an ocean of grace like a block of salt. dissolve it in the vastness of His love. let the waves of redemption renew my heart.