insatiable

It’s been a great weekend, running, reading, writing, reflecting. Every so often I get this internal itch, like an insatiable desire for depth? understanding? oneness with God? I don’t really know how to formulate it to words, but basically I go through old books I’ve underlined and written in, old journals, frantically searching for a reminder. that i am more than my job, my education, my address. that there is something profoundly unique and beautiful about life, and me, and that at one point or another, I’ve felt that.

it’s also been incredibly warm today, nevertheless i decided on a long sleeved collared shirt.

full of good decisions.

Sir Thomas Brown on Happiness

“I am the happiest man alive.  I have that in me that can convert poverty to riches, adversity to prosperity, and I am more invulnerable than Archilles;  Fortune hath not one place to hit me.”

Investments

Having a great time with family/family friends in Capitola this weekend. I think when you get to a certain age you start thinking about things, realizing how valuable our time is. You quit wasting it on temporary distractions and delusions, causal acquaintances and meaningless social mingles. You start investing in things of permanence—-> family….and diamonds.

Spring on Sproul

Hit 73 today in Berkeley! Marc and I soaked up the summer rays on the steps of Sproul, strategizing for our RichardsRose Campaign in UCDC!

Life is good

carry on // what we will be has not yet been made known

I  spent the night at the boys house, talking grad school, parenting and pinterest. Sometimes we get so caught up on our future, where we are going, and who we will become.

Sometimes we get so frustrated with who we are at this moment, our shortcomings, inadequacies and temperaments.

We don’t always understand why we go through situations or make compromising decisions.

But the truth is, someone else does. Some other divine being, does know. He works with us how we are and where we are, and in the end I believe its going to turn out beautiful. Like an artist with a canvas, a really big canvas, He creates a masterpiece out of nothing. And like a painter, we may not know all God’s plans or techniques, but we trust what he does with that canvas.

(all of this arises from a story by John Shore)

If while wandering around the inside of an art museum I come across a door that’s solidly locked shut, what do I do? Well, if I’m emotionally immature, I might wrestle with the door’s handle, or maybe fall to the floor and try to peer beneath it. I might throw a tantrum because I can’t get into that locked room. I might squat beside the door, fold my arms, and determinedly try to imagine everything inside the room. There are all kinds of ways I might waste my time outside that door.

But if mature, I will simply assume that those in charge of the museum know what they’re doing, and for whatever reason don’t want people going in that room. And that would be good enough for me. So I would turn away from the door, forget about the room, and go back out into the museum, where all that wonderful art was waiting to enlighten and inspire me.

so we carry on, we go along with this crazy life because its a work in progress – and we extend grace to ourselves- because there will be a day when it makes sense, when its appreciated for everything it is

and its going to be beautiful.

spring weekends

The weather is so beautiful in the Bay this weekend. After some time in Sac, I came home to work on a new HA xPLA shirt, my research paper, and my marathon training. Against my hair dressers wishes, I died my own hair because I wanted it more brown, less red, and it basically took right back to black – which sucks because it took so much work to get the black out! Oh well, at least I used semi-perm color.

I feel blessed to be living here, able to get paid for doing what I love, and surrounded by supportive friends. I’m excited its spring, the breeze is light with pollen and potential – good things are coming.