Reason #87 Why I’m Single

Not to toot my own horn, but I think I’m a pretty good girlfriend when I am in a relationship. Faithful, loving, and entertaining, I cook, I clean and groom. (omit psychotic episodes)

But here’s the thing. When you are in a relationship, it’s like a constant popularity battle and theres this sick obligation to “do something” all the time. Well maybe not, maybe thats completely inaccurate and just a conclusion from my last relationship with a social zealot. Anyway, the older I get the less appealing “going out” and bullshitting with people gets. It’s Friday night, I have worked my ass off all week with school, work, tending to family and friendships, business obligations and other appointments. I am exhausted. The last thing I want is to re-do my hair and make-up, pay for overpriced drinks, and kill my feet in a pair of heels till 2AM fending off lurkers in polo shirts.

So when I choose to spend my weekend nights laughing to myself watching How I Met Your Mother, getting tipsy off half a glass of wine and deep conditioning my hair, I’m not only satisfying my inner most desires, but I am also significantly taking myself off the market.

And that is totally okay with me.

Sure relationships are great and I love to cuddle and feel wanted my someone, but get real. Relationships are exhausting. I can’t spend as much energy tending to someone else’s desires as I do filing, buffing and repainting my nails every weekend. It’s physics. The motion of my upkeep doesn’t equate the force needed to remain in a relationship.

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know what i mean?

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