Few and Far

Stopped by to see the beautiful MEME working out here in Oakland…Surround yourself with only the best

Check them out at Few and Far women and send some love!

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Sac Fashion Week//PLDM

Last night my friends clothing company PLDM showed in Sac Fashion week, so happy for them! I wish I had better pictures of the line, but that runway light is blinding! There’s my ex strutting his stuff down the isle, he cracks me up – we got coffee the other day and ran into a couple we used to live with…stopped and chatted for a minute, asked how they were doing and they said “we got engaged!” we looked at each other, laughed and said “we broke up!” I love that we can be friends, have a good time and not let bitterness and bullshit ruin things.

Amanda and I always make an adventure out of the night…taxi cabs, heels and interviews




You Are Beautiful

After seeing the “Am I Pretty?” videos on YouTube, my beautiful little sister and her friend decided to make a video response to the girls. I am so proud of Mia and the caring, creative young lady she is becoming. High School is probably the most destructive 4 years of anyone’s life, and to see the choices she is making in this time of transition, really warms my little heart. She genuinely cares bout people and has managed to almost completely bypass the materialistic/gossipy/bitchy part of being 14. I hope she always remains true to this part of herself, and I pray that I am a good role model for her. Check out they’re video…

We also started a new project of paint-penning our writing and favorite quotes on her closet doors…we stay on our craft game!

Am I Pretty?

SAGE got a request to speak on a local Sac Radio show KFBK, about the trend among teenage girls looking for affirmation and self-esteem from total strangers on the Internet via YouTube  (videos called “am i ugly? “tell me if i’m pretty”), and asked us to offer a solution for parents on how to counterbalance the peer pressure and help build a young girl’s self-esteem.

Jezebel reported on this distrubing trend awhile ago, and I just wanted to share my thoughts before we go on the air!

I think these videos certainly stem from a normal desire for affirmation, but they are going about it in a painfully damaging way. These videos are generated mostly by pre-teen girls, at an extremely vulnerable time in their adolescence, when they’re constantly confronted with coming to terms with ideals of beauty, value and normalcy.
Suggestions have been made that parents monitor more closely their children’s internet use, but I think this is masking the problem. These are real issues and girls need to feel there is a safe place to explore these questions about identity and belonging. And, with the false sense of safety in internet anonymity and the perversion of some internet users, YouTube is a very dangerous and cruel place to explore self-identity.
This is a reflection of a much bigger, cultural problem – one that stems from a society that encourages very young girls to play with Barbies, paint their nails, wear high heels, and bare their midriffs. As teens progress, their parents play a smaller role in influencing their perspective, but there are still some steps they can take. I think it starts with initiating dialogue in the home early on – have conversations about what it means to be beautiful, and focus on healthy traits of attraction such as intellect, compassion, and creativity.   Parents can encourage their girls to explore the arts and sciences, and verbally praise in healthy ways, ways that focus on positive messages that laud achievements and boost qualities other than their looks.  And they can expose them to positive role models–women who are achievers in a wide variety of areas whose achievements have nothing to do with physical attraction.
Thinking about this subject in my own life, I am frequently around my mom and sister, and take notice of their interactions. My sister is beautiful, and hears it all the time (at school from boys, and envious girls) but she is also very smart (a freshman in highschool taking classes that i failed 3 times in college!) And my mom is constantly affirming her (and me) – every way
“hi pretty girl”
“goodmorning beautiful”
“you look so pretty”
but also affirming our intelligence
“you girls are so smart”
“i am so proud of you”
“you are so clever”
…i literally hear these things on a daily basis- and no they really dont get old. because she means them, and I have started to believe them, and only pray that my sister has too.
so my point is, we are powerful beyond our measure, and its time to affirm that – in ourselves, and in each other.

weekly recap//iron sharpens iron

1. my car was hit by a drunk driver. thankfully I wasnt in it, and I got a sweet new rental…cruisinnnnn!

2. stayed in SF for a bit and visited with my friend Tiffany from DC

3. visited Naners aka “Queen Wrinkly” – saw movie “the Vow”, totally cheesy and made me cry

4. church on the move

5. incessantly hitting the gym to fit into my dress for next week’s fashion show

6. read a case study about the FBI and 9/11 …. almost amazing how many factors were overlooked

i’ve also been able to have a lot of much needed, honest conversations. about life, and myself, and my disgusting abilility to justify all the fucked up things i do. i guess ive been really humbled this week, and really really grateful to be surrounded by such loving people that hold me accountable in love – its not easy to have someone tell you about yourself, but its something you do to because you want to be a better person. so thank you to all my friends who hold me up when I cant hold myself up, and who kick my ass when im too arrogant to kick my own – i owe you everything 😉