the breeze

I wish I had the ability to not let people get to me. That would be great. I hate addiction. I hate how it steals people I love and turns them into people I despise. I hate how it robs people of motivation, rationale, ambition and joy.

It is a thief and a manipulator.

Acceptance is a bitch sometimes. I’m going back to the bay today. I’m excited to be back at my own place. Where I can focus on my own life and not stress about everyone elses.People are going to do whatever they are going to do, its easier for me to get to that place where what they say and do do not effect me, when I am physcally not surrounded by them.

I love the bay area breeze, the Berkeley hills, the righteous bridges and constant movement. There is a certain danger in staying stagnant, it makes you think that you are okay where you are. The thing about struggling is that it reminds you, you are destined for much greater.

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anti-swag

More girls need to start looking for guys who have goals, ambitions, & crave success, because 10 years from now, “swag” won’t pay the bills.

a beginning in every ending

If every day of 2012 is like this, in that I

spend it with people I love

enjoy being outside

work out

laugh

and eat good food,

then I think it will be a great year.

Today I heard that my ex has a new girl.

and that shes fat and ugly and a total downgrade.

that’s probably really shallow of me to even comment on, but be real, that always makes a girl feel better.

I am so excited about the new year. Not in a corny, new year new me kinda way, but I just feel really good about myself and the direction my life is going. I feel like I have cut out a lot of unhealthy & negative relationships, and I’ve recommitted myself to things that matter to me. Whether it’s writing consistently, sticking to a work out regime, reading more books or going to church, I feel connected with that part of myself that craves for identity. I spent new years eve with Chris and Mia and the rest of our crazy extenda-family, and that I was sober and will remember it,  instead of hittin the town with casual acquaintances, because in 10 years from now, when Mia is grown and Chris is with a man somewhere, who knows where I will be or what I will be doing,

I just want to be with my family while I can. 

(we had fun with a new art project)