an email i just recieved form my dad. in case anyone was questioning where I get most of my shit from. the big kahuna himself.
For Christmas I would like for one, some, or all of you to consider updating my Facebook page/account (whatever it’s called) to include pictures of me/us/you/others so that I can start boasting to all my old friends about how great life/family is. I have one lousy picture on my home page and I don’t know how to arrange/change/rearrange it or anything else. I’m starving for assistance so I can begin e-mail blasting all my old, overweight. gray-aged friends with stunning pics of family and eloquent words of sophistication to project the awesomeness of our family. I only want really great pics of me/you/us/others, to project star quality. Photo Shop is acceptable for use where appropriate. I also need some praise/affection/affirmation posts to seamlessly bind it all together. Don’t be afraid to use things like “happily retired”, “selfless”, “still madly in love with mom after 28+ years”, “natural born leader”, etc. I’m ready to let the world know who and what I am. No unflattering pics/words/posts will be tolerated. If you screw up my home page, there will be a heavy individual price to pay (can you say T-Rex status for life?). Remember……… T-Rex don’t like being embarrassed, he EATS his own.
Happy Facebook Holidays!