More Boats, Booze n Bitches



Russian River, CA

Angel convinced me to join him and the boys for a weekend camping trip at Russian River. As most life decisions, I committed without thinking it through and as I watched him pack the car with sleeping bags, ice chests, tents and flashlights, I started to reconsider my “roughing it” abilties.Four hours, two wine coolers and three boys later, we arrive at ho-down back woods Guerneville where our friend Holland’s family rents a summer house on the river. The boys set up camp in the backyard while I “supervise”. We drink beer and bullshit by the fire, I’m cold but happy, genuinly happy.

In the morning everyone rondevous in the kitchen for coffee and breakfast. Holland’s parents are adorable and tell us stories about their recent UK travels. His dad is on the laptop showing pictures and smiling simultaneously at his wife and the screen. I smile thinking about them and about my own travels. Ive been through most of Europe and spent a summer in southern Africa, and maybe sometimes I forget it. I forget the beauty and knowledge the world contains and has taught me. I allow people, the most insignificant of which, to have influence over my happiness. But the beautiful thing about life is that I dont have to let them.

After coffee we journey downstream in kyacks. Five minutes into it the sun broke through the clouds and my mind. There are always going to be people who try to bring you down and poison you with their negativity, the trick is to not even give them the power to get in your head. Clarity shone down on me like the sun as we paddled upstream. Blue skies and laughter surrounded our little crew and in that moment I was so happy to be alive. So happy to be out in gods glory and good company.


We stop and dock at a local beach a few miles upstream.  Im siting on a bench soaking up the sun and admiring the mountains that cradle the river like a child; in awe of natures beauty.  Holland sets a cooler full of beer  next to me and says  “try to not get arrested”.  I smile in assurance. He comes back with his brother Delaney, who is equally as tall yet significantly more awkward then Holland. Standing between them is intimidating, I call them the twin towers. Back on the beach we chill and drink beer, walk around and enjoy the place. The third tower and his friend show up and we continue our journey.

Back at our makeshift camp site the boys make a fire and I start a smore assembly line,  (order)..must be a woman thing. I managed to squeeze in some reading time, one of my cheesy empowering-go-gettem books The Happiness Project” Its actually really good and I’m learning a lot about myself. For some reason I’ve been thinking a lot about my future lately, and the family that I want to have.  My dad has always been a stronghold in my life and I really respect him for what he has taught all of us. I want to have the kind of family I had growing up, I don’t want to struggle, I want to be comfortable, healthy and  happy and be able to take my family on vacations and show them the world, I want to be close to my kids and their friends, I want everything I had because it was so good and we really are so blessed. I think its good to take a self-inventory of your values and desires when you are single because it allows you to look at people more in a sense of  “is this someone that aligns themselves with my ideals”  And I guess that is what being young and single is about, about creating yourself and discovering the things that really matter to you. What a shame to be in a relationship and then start realizing all of these things, because who knows if your partner will have the same thoughts as you. I remember the last time I was single for quite some time and thinking, how could I be in a relationship with someone else when I am constantly changing and growing? Its almost unfair to the other person..you may fall in love with who I am today but whoooaa check me out tomorrow and you might want to bounce!

The other day me ex said “you’ve changed since we got together”

he couldn’t have been more right.

goodnight!

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